I attended a Raya Open House yesterday at Liparis . Lo and behold , I was so damn lucky I got to sit at the same table with two retards . Literally , retards . Really . Okay , to anyone . ANYONE who have mentally disabled relatives , I'm sorry lah okay . I can tolerate some but not all . So if you feel sensitive towards these kinda issues , please leave .
So this family arrived the same time as I did . When I entered the house , I felt so choked up by the satay smoke and insufficient space in the house I just wanted to get out of there . But cannot lah right . It would be downright rude to just leave like that without even wishing the hosts Happy Raya and stuff . So , I stayed . Duh . If I didn't stay there then I wouldn't be posting my experience with two retards right .
I did what everybody does at open houses . Eat . But this time I didn't eat the rendang . Was too lazy lah , there were so many people around waiting for their turn to scoop food from the trays and stuff . So I aimed for the satays and those Indian crackers , Popadoms (I don't know how to spell it) . So yeah lah , my family and I were sitting at this particular table where there's this mum and her three sons . The eldest one was perfectly normal , like us normal people . However , his two brothers were complete retards .
Have you ever felt uncomfortable when you're trying to eat and this person near you just stares ? And stares . And stares ?! One of the two retarded brothers was sitting opposite me and he just kept staring at me when I was eating . Actually , he stared at anyone . So my brother sitting beside me felt uncomfortable too . But we tried to ignore him 'cause he's uhh .. retarded . Pity the poor fella . He barely even touched his food .
His younger retarded brother on the other hand , was gobbling up his food like as if he hasn't eaten for days . Sorry , make that weeks . The food that he didn't like , he would dump on his older retarded brother's plate , and the normal older brother sitting in the middle would just give him this stare which he ignores .
I was really addicted to those Popadom crackers so I would go back and forth from the table frequently to top up on the crackers . Sooooo ngam ah , when I went off to get more crackers , the younger retard just finished his pile of food , and when the plate of crackers touched the table , his sharp eyes caught sight of it . You can guess what happened next . With immediate effect , he reached out his big fat piggy-looking hand and scooped up all my beloved tasty crackers and stuffed it in his mouth . He muched on them a few times and went for more . At that moment , I was so tempted to take the crackers away and have eat them myself . As in , get them off the table and hold then in my protective hands . But , because he was a complete retard , I didn't .
After my brother was finally done with his meal , we proceeded to hang around outside of the house where there's just fucking fresh air . This was when my brother started a conversation with me . It went something like this :
Nick : Jie , you know right , I almost shouted at the boy sitting beside me (younger retard) .
Me : Why ? What happened ?
Nick : Just now when I was taking food , he was right beside me . Then right , when he was
scooping up some curry onto his plate , he licked the ladle all over and put it back .
Me : (stoning)
Nick : I almost wanted to shout at him . But I didn't lah , 'cause he's a retard .
Me : Then did you take the curry before he licked the spoon ?
Nick : NO . Luckily lah . Dunno whether he got lick the spoon before that or not .
Me : Oh my fucking gawd man .
Nick : Yeah . Oh my fucking gawd . Oh yeah , and when I was queuing up to tak food right , the
fatty keep on pushing me you know . Not only me , but everyone else there as well . I
really wanted to punch his teeth out man .
Me : Yeah , if there wasn't something wrong with him , I would have too .
I'm sorry to all you people out there who found this post kind of insulting . But hey , I mengamalkan nilai toleransi with them already okay . Especially the fatty younger retard .
I was on the verge of exploding .
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