Saturday, June 5, 2010


Listening to: Fifteen by Taylor Swift

I have not touched my piano in months. Two months? Or maybe even more. I'm not so sure. My dad wanted to sell off my piano because it takes up a lot of space and no one touches it. Very true. But no matter what, I would not agree to the selling of my piano. It is there for me whenever I am feeling down. Somehow when I feel unhappy (which is quite rare), I seek comfort in my piano. Even though I am not very good at it and can only memorize ONE song by heart, it gives me the refuge I need.

I was feeling quite depressed during lunch time, and no one is to be blamed except myself. I was not thinking straight. I was asking myself so many Whys and Hows, all those questions clogged up my brain. I wasn't in the mood to do anything. My undying hunger was already dying. To those of you who don't know, I need to eat at least every 3 hours. I did not have any breakfast before work. My usual self would be starving after work. But today, I barely felt those hunger pangs.

And then I had my lunch at almost 3 with Zk at McDs. McDs for lunch two days in a row is not what I fancy but I could not think of anything else to eat at that time. Thanks for accompanying me for lunch, Nephew.

I came home tired and not very satisfied with my large Big Mac set. I rotted around the house contemplating between sleeping or going online. I went online. Obviously. Couldn't hold in my emotions and let them go on MSN. Wanna thank Beng, Yiwei and Fuu for asking whether I was okay. Wanna thank Fuu for just talking to me even though you didn't help out much lol. But yeah, thanks anyway.

I missed playing my piano. I was still feeling depressed and all the Whys and Hows started swirling around my head again. I saw my piano. I saw my brother sleeping. I looked at the thin layer of dust settled comfortably on top of my piano lid. I lifted it up, sat on my piano bench, and my fingers automatically played the keys of the only song I can memorize by heart.

A tear streamed down my cheek.

And now I am feeling so much better compared to this afternoon. I can think more clearly. All those Whys and Hows are finally answered. Well, most of them are.

No comments: