Wednesday, July 14, 2010

I'm Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired.

Listening to: Jajauma Hime by Kagrra,

Sleepless nights.. Sleepless nights. Why do you torture me so? Why, brain, WHY?! I thought I would be able to get proper sleep tonight. I reached home before midnight and had nothing else to worry about. Group Dynamics - done. Or so I thought.

I'm not much of a thinker. Hence, my stupidity. Hence, all the mistakes I've made. Hence, me being me. But lately I've been thinking. A lot. One thought brings me on to another, and another, and another.. You get the point. I always think about having fun, fun, and more fun. But you, me, and the whole damn world knows that life doesn't work that way.

Basically, I have screwed up my life upsidedowninsideout from all angles possible. My relationships. My studies. My finances. My priorities. Whatever it is, you name it.

Again, I am thinking. Right now. At this very moment. Should I turn everything around? Or at least try to? If I do, I won't be me anymore. But I can't do a hundred and one things all at once. I can't be the person everyone wants me to become. I can't fucking please everyone.

I am selfish. I've been told. I am. I know. What I'm doing now.. What I am doing now isn't making any sense. Not to anybody. Not to myself. I don't even know whether I need time alone. Or whether I need to get my mind off everything and just go to sleep - which is obviously out of the question.

To lighten up my dreary mood a lil', Spain won the World Cup 2010 for the very first time! I know everybody knows this already, but I don't care. I am still proud of them and happy for them! Denise has been supporting you guys since Day 1 and didn't back down no matter what all those assholes out there said about Espanol. It was all worth it! Torres, Casillas, Villa, Iniesta, Fabregas Puyol, Ramos, Alonso, Xavi, Pique, Capdevilla, Pedro, Llorente. Viva Espana.

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