Saturday, July 24, 2010

Dee.

Listening to: Duhhhhhhhh. Nothing.

Damnit, I don't know why every time I hear you call me by that name I soften and feel all queasy and shit. Why does it have to be now? Why? Why did you have to do what you did to me? Again.

Define me. Define Denise. I would say.. smudged eyeliner. Almost everyone I know tells me that my eyeliner is smudged and why don't you get waterproof eyeliner? I don't want to. I like my smudgy eyeliner. It's me. It's what makes me, me.

Doubting myself has always been an issue. I wonder why people tell me I've got plenty of skills when I myself know I've got none. Probably one or two common ones but that's about it. I can't see myself doing anything successful in the future.

Delirious. A feeling I have not felt in such a long time. Right now nothing much makes me feel thrilled, or, delirious. Everyday I go thru the same ol' same ol'. I wonder how much more of this I can take.

Don't need to ask about what you want. I don't even know what I want. Actually I do know what I want. I'm just too selfish to let myself have what I want.

Okay time to harvest my crops on Farmville. Goodbye.