Underappreciated .

Mood : Crushed

What have I done to make you hate me this much ? I don't get it . I seriously don't . Is it so difficult to try to be nice to me ? I doubt it is . I know that I can be a bit sharp-tongued at times but I have been trying , trying so damn hard to change for the better . To turn over a new leaf . But every time I get excited at the fact that I am making you happier , everything backfires . Is it so entertaining to see me suffer ? Does it make your day ? I understand that I can't take back my words but you have to understand it as well because you have no idea how deeply you pierce through me . Remember that every word you eject will be etched into my mind forever whether I want to think about it or not . I try not to think of what you have done in the past which has hurt me deeply and many a time I analyse the situation back then - I put the the blame on myself . You might not think of it as such a big deal , but I do . I have to bear the guilt based on each and every situation we encountered .

However , I am thankful for those who appreciate me . One of them , my BFF , Marcus . I know 'cause he told me after seeing my personal message on MSN Messenger . Love ya buddy .

PS : I try not to expose my problems and emotions on my blog but I don't want to trouble others by listening to my problems . Plus , I prefer to keep problems such as these private and confidential . But I fail , and end up expressing my feelings up here .