These Tears, They Burn.

Listening to: Break Even by The Script

I can only assume. I can only understand so much.

It hit me just now, right between the eyes. But,

I need to know if what I guess is going on, is correct.

This is the first time I'm shedding tears for you.

I miss this feeling, crying.

I miss actually having emotions.

I feel more human now.

Much more.

You're Welcome.

Listening to: Hosanna by Planetshakers.

Those words are still lingering in my mind. Did someone really think of me in such a way that made my heart feel all soft and squishy again? Shocked, surprised, stoned. I never thought that was what they thought of me. Somehow or other, no one has been able to make me feel appreciated. It all happened so long ago, so many years back.

Yet they could still remember.

That I, never took sides.

That I, never judged them.

That I, was the only friend they had.

Yet I..

.. I listened to those people. Those people I called friends. Those people I loved, and still do till this day.

I listened to their mockeries. I listened to their insults. I listened to their judgments.

I felt the guilt build up inside of me.

I'm sorry. I'm glad you remembered me as that person.

I'm glad I was the only friend you ever had.

Sunny Emo.

Listening to: Monster by Lady GaGa

I knew what I was getting myself into. But somehow or other I refused to back down. Why did I let myself into this mess? After all that I have been through. I guess what he said was true. It screws you back in the ass.. hard.

Why was I even afraid? Why did I hesitate?

No one's to blame except myself.