I Not Ego.

Listening to: Collide by Howie Day

Friday night was a fucking fucked up night. Thanks Fei, Quek and JJ.

And THANKS Siew Fai.

No More Scott Pilgrim.

Listening to: Get Down by Paul Johnson

One of the most anticipated movies on my list is officially not going to be shown in Malaysia. Thanks, Lowyat.NET. If it were not for you I would still be sitting idly waiting for it to be released here. Right now, besides Tangled, I'm not looking forward to any other movie which is "Coming Soon" to a theater near me. The Social Network seems interesting, but Scott Pilgrim vs. The World is still on the top of my list. I'll just have to get someone do download it for me.

Oh and Siew Fai wants his revenge from 2 weeks ago when he lost to me during our padang drinking session, ahha. I told him I'll be going but deep down I don't really feel like going because I've got work on Saturday. We're gonna be drinking at Grand Dorsett, Subang on Friday night. Since the place so high class, I am sure they're supplying Chivas, Black Label and XO instead of padang equivalent liquor. Which is cheap liquor. Which I had to drink a plus minus a fortnight ago. It wasn't funny.

Scott Pilgrim and drinking aside, I changed the little music video box on the top right of my blog already. Which made me realize that I have never watched the MV of Love the Way You Lie before. I always manage to only catch a glimpse of the music video coming to an end (when the house is on fire) and that's about it. Somehow or other I was mesmerized by the story - although I barely understood it. A common song very often played nowadays but enjoy (:

I Just Wanna Be Left Alone.

Listening to: For the First Time by The Script

I didn't have time to update ever since my last update because:

1. My parents are always on my PC,

2. I've been "studying" for midterms, and

3. I just lost my inspiration

Not to say I've always had much that inspired me before this.

My mood swings are destroying me, constantly making me feel like shit all the time. And what's so freaking awesome is that I am not doing anything to fight it off. If you can fight off mood swings, that is.

Now I know why I can not have a relationship. Not for now, at least. After one of my relationships, I have closed my heart, not willing to open it up again after a long time. I suppose you all will think that I am contradicting my own words because not long after one of my break-ups, I hooked up with this guy I barely knew. If I opened up myself to him, we wouldn't have broke up one month later.

I took this quiz on Facebook: What color is your heart? I got the color black. Cold and heartless, much. And I do agree. I have become so immune to everything that used to hurt me before. Right now, I do not monitor the things I say and do. Don't even bother to.

Again, I have reached a dead-end. Not knowing what to do to make things better.

I Love Black. Arthur's Day, You Know?

Listening to: Hard To Say I'm Sorry by Chicago

I went to Pyramid in hopes of achieving my goal: getting my Arthur's Day tickets. Sadly the tickets I were aiming to get (RM79) were sold out. Which means I would have to go to either Mid Valley, Lot 10, Bkt Jalil, and some other places I can't recall to get the tickets. Which is quite the troublesome for me ya. Anywho I ended up buying a black top from Forever 21, which was so not on my to do list.

I have to stop buying black-colored items before I get labeled as emo or goth. But I can't stop! This is me, ME. I love the color black and nobody can stop me from loving it! I feel so comfortable wearing black clothes. But of course I do own clothing of other colors. Except orange. I hate orange. Like the annoying orange. You know?

HEY APPLE. Fuckkkkkkkkk.

You Were My Voice When I Couldn't Speak.

Listening to: Animal by Neon Trees (Such an awesome song)

I won't make promises I can't keep. Or at least promises I know I can't keep.

Why are you so sure that I love you? Actually I shouldn't even be asking you that question because I already know what the answer will be. And it all comes down to me. My actions which have been totally out of my control the past few months. Those things I did to show you that I have feelings for you, were not real. My deepest, sincerest apologies to you. All I ask from you is to leave me alone because I know what I'm gonna do next. And it'll hurt you.

I'm sure I'll receive a text message from you very soon questioning me about this. There will be nothing for me to say. All is said here.

On the other hand, I hope you don't text me asking me if I'm talking about you 'cause if you do I'm going to step on your foot when I see you.

Wanna listen to an extremely awesome song? How about the song playing right now on my blog (:

When I Tell You I Love You.

Listening to : Hey Baby (Drop It To The Floor) by Pitbull ft. T-Pain

A few nights ago I typed out a message on my phone. I was about to send it out to him, not giving a damn about what people would say or think about me. I was so fed-up, fed-up with myself and my never-ending excuses to avoid.. it. The feelings that overcame me that night are so very rare, as of late. I've just been so depressed lately, so snappy at everyone. I've been known as someone who hides their feelings perfectly. But no.. Not now.

If I sent out that message, I would regret it now. I just need more time. More time for myself to overcome my fucking mood-swings and to become a better person for you.

Reviving a Dead Blog.

Listening to: Hero/Heroine by Boys Like Girls

Dayumm I don't know when was the last time I entered my blogsite. Nothing to talk about. Actually loads to but I am just too darn lazy. Thank God I didn't go and get myself a tumblr account if not I think I would just shut down my blog.

So anyway just a short post to let you people know that I will still be updating my blog so don't leave!

Actually I think the real reason why I stopped updating was because I had nothing emo to talk about anymore. Is that good? Or bad..