Stupid, Much?

Listening to: Airplanes (Part 2) by B.o.B. ft. Hayley Williams & Eminem

I was chatting with Fcy almost an hour ago on MSN. She told me that she collected her exam results already. Her results weren't satisfactory, much. I am fearful of mine now. All I can do now is pray and hope that I did not fail my Macroeconomics paper. I am, after all, quite bad at it. No matter how many people tell me how amazingly easy it is, I never really quite understood it. Maybe it was because I was never interested in it. Or maybe it was because I saw mushrooms floating around the class during Ms. Chaw's lectures.

Or maybe it is because I am just plain stupid.

Tommy Cheong Wan Fei, I miss talking to you. Let's meet up soon when you're back in KK - and bring Stephy (:

Pianoforte.

Listening to: Fifteen by Taylor Swift

I have not touched my piano in months. Two months? Or maybe even more. I'm not so sure. My dad wanted to sell off my piano because it takes up a lot of space and no one touches it. Very true. But no matter what, I would not agree to the selling of my piano. It is there for me whenever I am feeling down. Somehow when I feel unhappy (which is quite rare), I seek comfort in my piano. Even though I am not very good at it and can only memorize ONE song by heart, it gives me the refuge I need.

I was feeling quite depressed during lunch time, and no one is to be blamed except myself. I was not thinking straight. I was asking myself so many Whys and Hows, all those questions clogged up my brain. I wasn't in the mood to do anything. My undying hunger was already dying. To those of you who don't know, I need to eat at least every 3 hours. I did not have any breakfast before work. My usual self would be starving after work. But today, I barely felt those hunger pangs.

And then I had my lunch at almost 3 with Zk at McDs. McDs for lunch two days in a row is not what I fancy but I could not think of anything else to eat at that time. Thanks for accompanying me for lunch, Nephew.

I came home tired and not very satisfied with my large Big Mac set. I rotted around the house contemplating between sleeping or going online. I went online. Obviously. Couldn't hold in my emotions and let them go on MSN. Wanna thank Beng, Yiwei and Fuu for asking whether I was okay. Wanna thank Fuu for just talking to me even though you didn't help out much lol. But yeah, thanks anyway.

I missed playing my piano. I was still feeling depressed and all the Whys and Hows started swirling around my head again. I saw my piano. I saw my brother sleeping. I looked at the thin layer of dust settled comfortably on top of my piano lid. I lifted it up, sat on my piano bench, and my fingers automatically played the keys of the only song I can memorize by heart.

A tear streamed down my cheek.

And now I am feeling so much better compared to this afternoon. I can think more clearly. All those Whys and Hows are finally answered. Well, most of them are.

Loss Time Life.

Listening to: Do You Know (The Ping Pong Song) by Enrique Iglesias

What would you do if you knew that your time in life is ticking away by the minute? A mysterious "referee" appears in front of individuals in their dying moments while living their usual lives, and announces the exact amount of time they have left to live. Each individual must make a quick decision on how to best spend the time remaining before his or her time expires. --groink


This drama has got me thinking about what I would do if I had a certain amount of time left to live. Until now I can't really think about what I would want to do if, say, I had another 3 hours left to live my life. Would I want to spend it all on my friends? My family? My boyfriend? One hour for each then, ha ha. If I really was given a few hours left to live, I would probably be crying my eyes out telling everyone how much I love them.

I would withdraw all my money out from my bank account and spend it all on my loved ones. A PS3 for my dad. A PC for my mum. A graphic card for my brother. A Sony Ericsson hand phone for my sister. A carton of cigs for my boyfriend (ha ha, you wish lah) - buy Fred Perry shirts for you okay? I don't know what Yi Zhong wants so I'll give her an ang pau ha ha. And then I'll belanja every one else drinks.






All in 3 hours.

*Credits to http://wiki.d-addicts.com/ for the paragraph in Italic.

I Wanna Watch Toy Story 3!

Listening to: 하루 하루 (Haru Haru) by Big Bang

And I wanna watch it bad! Despite all the rubbish coming from some friends who say that cartoons are for kids, I beg to differ. I grew up watching Toy Story 1 and Toy Story 2. Being 19 isn't going to stop me from watching the long-awaited Toy Story 3! I was so excited about it, I actually thought it was going to be showing in cinemas almost 2 months ago. That was because I saw the poster for Toy Story 1 & 2 Marathon in 3D - not Toy Story 3 ):

The new toy that really caught my attention when I watched the trailer a few months back was, of course, none other than Ken!

Look at him! Doesn't he just look adorable? That sexy charming smile and body clad in blue (not really my favorite color but it works for me anyway). Oh, and let's not forget that nice ascot Barbie pointed out in the trailer.

Oh, and I still laugh every time I watch the trailer and Ken wails out that he isn't a girl's toy!

WoOying.

Listening to: Undisclosed Desires by Muse

Everything will change, but love remains the same.

Every time I gaze into those eyes, I can't help but smile. Smile at how incredibly great every thing has been for me the past week. I'm caught up in my own world, a world where nothing and no one can interrupt me basking in the joy that only he can bring.

How long? How long can this feeling last? I only have 4 days left. 4 days to lie down on my bed of roses. 4 days. Too fast. It's going by too fast.

Come June, every thing will be different. Will I be able to take the hard hit which is slowly making it's way towards me? I don't know. I thought I could, but after opening my eyes and thinking. Thinking and thinking. I might not be able to take control of everything the way I thought I could.

Hope dangles on a string.

I have not felt so down in quite some time. All I've been doing is enjoying my freedom for a month plus. I was not willing to give up my freedom. Wasn't it obvious? The night I made you a promise and broke it a few hours later. I could see the disappointment and anger written all over your face. I misused your trust. And who else is there to blame except myself. Up till now, I am still sad and disappointed with myself. What I did was so selfish and inconsiderate.

But, Baby, I think my decision to accept you into my life is something not worth thinking twice about.

You and I both know this is gonna be tough, but you and I both know, too, that I love you Baby.

Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore.

Dry Your Eyes.

Listening to: 不能说的秘密 [Bu Neng Shuo De Mi Mi] by 周杰伦 [Jay Chou]

Whatever.

Listening to: 웨딩드레스 (Wedding Dress) by 태양 (Taeyang)

There has just been so much going on lately, I missed the chance to go watch some stand-up comedy show at Jaya One. Bleh. I won a pair of tickets from Nuffnang, but with all the shit going on, I forgot to check my mail to confirm the reservation and now my tickets have been revoked. And I only have myself to blame. The show is tonight. Sigh.

It hurts every time I look at it.

I have got so, so many things going thru my head right now. I don't know how to handle the situation. I don't know whether things will improve or not. I have a feeling it will, but I can't risk taking anything for granted. Once the new semester starts, I'm gonna be quite fucked. All I can do is hope for the best and pray that God would help me out.

I think I need to go back to church.